Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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