super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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