My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
