Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
