I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
