Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Randomize