He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
