Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
