I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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