wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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