yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
