I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wish I only lived at night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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