somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
