One girl and one boy is just not enough.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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