lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
