I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize