did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
