I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
