Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
