You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
