a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
