thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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