just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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