He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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