True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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