when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
