and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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