Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
