My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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