Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
my poor anus
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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