Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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