and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I will pee on everything he values.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
