Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize