he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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