Your tits are I can't wait for
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
