"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
