Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
