I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
