Operation Purity has been aborted
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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