Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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