I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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