Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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