I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
