I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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