So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
