I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Actions speak louder than pants.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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