i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize