im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
