I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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