Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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