drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
