I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
