Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
