Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
