I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
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During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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