Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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