just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
