I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
